Or just another flipping thing on the to do list
I have been fretting and worrying about this blog since about Tuesday. It has been a constant presence hovering at my shoulder swelling gradually as the week has gone by. Prodding and poking me, nudging me to get writing, reminding me that by Wednesday at the very least I usually have a draft down, something I can refine and edit until I am ready to publish on the train journey into work on Friday morning.
But this week nothing. My mind was blank. I had nothing to say this week. Nothing of value, or interest to contribute. I was panicking. Everything I have read about maintaining a successful blog says you must post regularly. That is the number one rule. If you post every Friday then you must post every Friday. Don’t miss a week for heavens sake otherwise the blogosphere will punish you. You will lose all your followers who will be disillusioned at your obvious lack of commitment and writing flakiness. They will never come back. I also infer that jeering and booing and maybe even some Twitter trolling might occur too. It didn’t bear contemplating.
I needed a subject. I needed some words of wisdom about how difficult it is to write and hold down a full time job at the same time. But this week I haven’t had any little space in my full up brain to even think about writing let alone a post on my blog. Meetings from 9am to 5pm on Tuesday and Wednesday, out of the office all day Thursday and on a Leadership Day all day Friday at which I am presenting. On top of that my youngest daughter has headed off on a residential school trip and I am off on holiday next week for a fortnight and need to make sure I have everything ready.
So pulling out my ipad on this morning’s train journey I was really cross with my blog. Fed up with writing and the pressure it puts me under. Resentful that I can’t just sit and flick through the paper, or watch a comedy on iplayer or read a book on my journey in. I have to rustle up a blog post out of nowhere. And here it is! It was whilst I was raging at myself in my head I realised that here was the content for my blog.
I don’t have the luxury of pouring a cup of tea and relaxing at my desk, the whole day spread before me to write and create at a leisurely pace. For me writing is another on the long list of things for me to do. And it makes me feel guilty and bad if I don’t keep it up. If the train is packed and I can’t get a seat in the morning which means I can’t Tweet or, like this week, when I am very busy and don’t have the time to think about a blog post. Added pressure in this already stuffed full life.
So apologies to you all if there are a few mistakes in this post. I bashed it out in about 20 minutes. And just to let you know that I won’t post over the next two weeks because I am on holiday. And whilst I will be working on my second novel whilst I relax on the sun lounger (and can’t wait to have some time to do that) I am letting the blogging and the Tweeting go for a fortnight. If you all abandon me then so be it. But thinking about it, judging from the lovely and positive comments I have had about my blog and how much it seems to resonate with you I am hopeful that most of you will understand and let me off. There is only such much we can all do!